Vision Loss

Corey Hart, the Federation, and E40, all wear sunglasses at night. Now young club-hoppers and trendsetters everywhere are mimicking their style, sporting clunky designer sunglasses both indoors and at night, in a shameless attempt to look cool.

I guess sunglasses aren’t what they used to be. Gone are the days when their main function was to hide the eyes from the sun’s harmful rays. Now they apparently protect your eyes from moon-rays too.

While hitting the club scene last weekend, I came across a peculiar sight. As I made my way to the dance floor, I saw huddled in a dark corner a group of fashionably-clad gentlemen with brewed drinks in hand— conspicuously sporting sunglasses, as if they just stepped out of a James Bond flick.

Sunglasses? At night? Isn’t it dark in here, or is it just me?

It seemed my drink wasn’t playing tricks on me. So I wondered: what is the point of wearing shades in a club where it’s so dark you can barely tell who (or what) you are dancing with? The green and blue flashing lights must have been blinding. Or maybe they thought they were just too cool to be seen. To me, they looked like idiots wearing sunglasses when there really was no reason to.

Sure, society has accepted some people for their habitual “glamourflage” capabilities. Tom Cruise (before he was jumping on couches) made Wayfarers look good. Angelina Jolie and Heidi Klum look sexy in their Aviators. Bono rocks his signature pair of Armani’s; which according to the rockstar, make him look not-so-ordinary.

But just because a celebrity or two can pull off such a pretentious and purposeless look (or just because a new song makes the fashion faux pas sound cool) doesn’t mean it looks good on everyone. So to avoid looking stupid, just stick to wearing shades in the sun only.